Bending bending bending. Pieces of plastic snap eventually too you know-- Can't believe i slipped, hurt when i fell, Still trying to get up, Find meaning find meaning FIND MEANING FiNDMEANiingg. I just want to sleep for a long time, But that won't happen because i have fucked my brain up too much and now when i try to sleep at night, if the situation is close enough to what it was that one night-- it all happens again. Being stupid enough to do drugs when already on drugs has really just -- fucked me up. Up until 4am because all i could do was sit, shaking, waiting for it too stop. This has happen too often lately... Every time all i think is "I am about too die -- these are my last thoughts, and all i can think is i KNOW my dresser is not supposed to look like that." Maybe i am causing it by being scared it will happen, Maybe its weed, Maybe i shouldn't smoke weed anymore.. Maybe i shouldn't take so many kinds of medication on a day to day, Or maybe i should straight up just stop being stupid and grow the fuck up. I hate flaky people, I hate how everyone i know looks out for number one at such an extreme that i truly just don't want to count on anyone. Its good and bad, Good is every way, Bad in most ways. Strange and hard, Annoying above all things. Fighting for aiirrrrr, Im not going to make it too 30. I have been thinking about leaving again, stay here for one more year, save, flea. Find something that doesn't feel as pointless as being the person i am here..there just has to be something more.. Some things just really bring out the worst in me.. And i feel like you feel like i bring out the worst in you?
Fuck man, SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING THE ISLAND....
