I just want to shop, So badly. Spend thousands of dollars on shoes alone, And thousands more on clothes. And i need to get out of here. Vacate. I need an escape plan, Fuccckk, Every few months i just need to go, And my last escape didn't count because i wasn't alone, I was with someone i didn't even really like anymore -- and just didn't relize pretttyy much until i just typed that i thought about it. I hated you. Now i just don't care. Infact, Being on good terms would make me more comfortable with the thought of you -- But i don't care enough. meh.
I always find myself staring at the picture above the sofa for way longer then any normal person should look at -- anything. Battleship and a bong sitting on the living room table, hoodies and shoes all over the floor, no dirty dishes and garbage anywhere. Yeaaaa sounds about right, Kathleen and i justtt kick it here.
Last night, I thought i could smell chemicals, But it wasn't real. But it was so strong, burning a hole in my nostrils. My heart rate doubles, b-line for the door. My thoughts only got worse from there -- Mental affecting the phyiscal like never before, and i need to make this all stop, i need to stop smelling and hearing and seeing --- i need to stop going crazy..
No..
What i NEED is a job, so for 8 hours i think about work, and then by the time i have been off work for long enough that my brain starts melting, i will be asleep.
