Fuck me, Fuck you actually -- Now that i think about it.
I no longer exist. I no longer have any desire to find what is missing in my life, because i no longer feel up to it. My skin is collecting dust and when i die, I know it will be in a one bedroom apartment. My landlord will wonder where rent is, Let herself in and there i will be. Finally asleep in my one bedroom apartment. "But your only 19!" mhm. I know. I haven't forgotten. I have a headache from listening to myself go over everything over and over and over and over and im over. I think about the trees, and the water, and the earth .. And you. School girl thoughts mainly. I think about wasted time, And giving up. And i think about what it must be like to think the way someone else does. I will trade you some disgust for some faith. Everything that hurts, layed out for the general public to see and feel and eat and laugh at. I am past life, While you are present.
